Thursday, May 18, 2017

Thankful Thursday

Have you ever become overwhelmed at just the thought of God's goodness? I have. And I know I'm not the only one.

It helps tremendously when we redirect our focus. To stop honing in on all of the challenging things that we face on a daily basis (or that we've faced in the past), and instead override those negative thoughts by recounting the innumerable times that we've encountered trials that could and should have destroyed us, but didn't because of the grace of Almighty God.

I had one of those moments this morning. As I took the drive from home to work, a sudden rush of thoughts entered my mind. And I mean the not-so-distant memories seemed to bombard me out of nowhere. There I was... just driving along minding my own business, and all at once, I began recounting all of the people in my life that I thought were my friends whose true colors showed over the past four or five years. Some had been in my life since childhood and others since I was a teen or my earliest adult years. Some were even family. And when one of the greatest storms in my life brewed and the enemy came in like a flood to try and destroy me, those people walked away. Literally. And they not only walked away, but I watched in utter disbelief as they walked away from me and toward the main culprit who was being used of the devil to lie, scheme, betray, and manipulate in an attempt to destroy my family and distort my character.

It was mind-boggling! If they had been close friends all the while, then it wouldn't have been such a shock, but that wasn't the case. In fact, some had sat with me at the inception of the storm and expressed to me how lowdown and devious that foe was being; how they'd always known the dastardly deeds the enemy was capable of. They told me they had my back and would be praying with and for me, but their declaration of support turned out to be counterfeit. They'd never been close to my rivals before; yet in the midst and in the aftermath of the destruction that was attempted toward me, those who once walked, talked, and laughed with me began embracing and supporting my attackers. 

The initial sight of it all took me by complete surprise. It was totally unexpected and the impact it made on me (spiritually, physically, and emotionally) was tremendous. I spent weeks and even months being heartbroken. Sometimes I felt as though I was in mourning; like a physical death had taken place. Even as I recalled it all this morning, water welled in my eyes, and by the time I came to a stop in the parking lot of my job, the tears I had been fighting were beginning to fall. For a brief while, it was like I was reliving the pain all over again.

Oh... but when I think of the goodness of Jesus!!!

In the middle of the devil's attempt to bring misery upon me, I came to myself. In doing so, I began to realign my thinking and fast-forward past the thoughts of the test and began to replay the testimony that resulted.  I remembered how God stepped in and threw every arsenal the enemy used right back in his dirty, deceitful, disgusting face. What was meant for evil, God worked it all for my good. He allowed me to weather the storm with my faithfulness, dignity, and testimony in tact. Everything I thought I'd lost, God restored, and what He restored made my now far, far, far greater than my then. In the end, it was all worth it. I wouldn't take nothing for my journey!!! As I sat in my car, the waterworks of my wounds turned into a fountain of praise. Tears of joy overshadowed those initial tears of sadness. My weeping turned into worship. My pity party turned into a praise party, and I began to hear myself verbally saying, "Lord, I thank you! Lord, I thank you!"

When I finally got myself together, exited my car, and walked into my office space, I'm sure my red, puffy eyes made it look like I was weary or sleep-deprived, but truly my body, soul, mind, and spirit felt refreshed and renewed. Good thing I was the first in my department to arrive. I was able to use eye drops to erase the evidence of my earlier crying, but before I did that or anything else, I sat at my desk, bowed my head, and prayed a prayer of forgiveness and thanksgiving. Why the prayer of forgiveness? Because I felt the need to beg God's pardon for allowing my thoughts to stray so far away from Him and all that He's done for me that the devil was able to sneak in and have a takeover moment. It happens to the best of us. I realize that. But what I know for sure is that the Lord has been way too good to me for me to have given the enemy even an ounce of my time.

God has given all believers authority over the enemy. In Ephesians 6 and beginning at verse 11, we are instructed to put on the whole armor of God so that in those times when the wicked one tries to rile up and present us with adversity, we're fully quipped (from head to toe) to immediately fight the battle and win. Somehow, I was ill-prepared this morning, but thankfully, I was able to identify it as a plot of satan before he could fully overtake me... and in the end I won.

Regardless of where we are in our walk with God--whether we've been saved for thirty minutes or thirty years--the devil isn't going to give up. He's going to try us every chance he gets in hopes of destroying us. He knows the places where we're most vulnerable, and those are the areas toward which he'll aim. If we've been hurt by family and friends, and he knows that the bonds of family and friendship are of the utmost importance to us; then he'll try and magnify the incidents in those areas that have caused us the greatest pain. It's up to us to stay prayed up, armored up, and on guard.

And thanks be to God who always, always, ALWAYS gives us the victory! #POW... take that black-eye devil. You lost again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Anonymous said...

Wow. This just encouraged me big time. It's right on time. I need this TODAY and at this very moment. Thank you so much for your transparency and your honesty. I don't know you personally, but I have no doubt that you are a woman after God's own heart. Your children and husband are blessed beyond measure.

Anonymous said...

Amen. It's amazing the lessons we learn along our journey with Christ. In spite of the tears this was a beautiful reality check and reminder about how good our Lord and Savior is.

Debra "DeeDee" Daniels said...

My God... where is the LOVE button for this post? I can relate to this all to well but you are right. We have to stay focused on the goodness of God even when the folks who are closest to our heart turn against us. Thank you for sharing this today my Christian sister.

Toni Brown said...

I wasn't going to say anything on this post at first but I couldn't help chiming in. It upset me that you felt like you needed to apologize to God for letting it get to you. Don't you feel bad for your tears, Ms. Kendra. Folks kill me when they act like just because you are a Christian or a preacher your not supposed to cry when they do they nastiness. They are the ones who stand around saying as good as God is to her she ought to not let nothing bother her. You cry all you need to honey. But all while your crying you still know God is good and all them backstabbers are going to have to PAY. You are God's child and he's not going to let them get away with trying to destroy his child. They wonder why they having bad luck with they health, household, and finance. It's because of dirty stuff they do like THIS!!! Karma is a mutha! Okay I'm done! ROFL...

Anonymous said...

LOL @ Toni Brown!!!!!!!!!!!! You SAID that!

Beverly said...

Just wait and see. Before it's all over they're going to wish they'd stood on the side of righteousness. When they see where God takes you they're going to wish they were still connected. In the meantime you just keep on doing what you're doing, Pastor K!

Sheila Carter said...

So many of us can relate to the hurt that you experienced Pastor Holmes. When it comes from people you really think are your friends it really cuts deep. Not to mention family!!! I thank God for you being open and honest enough to share your moment. I don't see it as a moment of weakness though. When I read it all I could think was how strong you are for enduring it all like a good soldier. It's okay when healing doesn't happen over night. We can forgive people for what they do to us but that doesn't mean it stops hurting. And I agree with Beverly's comments. They are going to regret walking away because God is going to make his favor on you very obvious. He already has. Look at you! You're a queen among queens. Keep shining!

Unknown said...

Kendra you encouraged me even more. I was you and the pain is oh so real but when God fixes it it's fixed. The enemy tries to hamper us emotionally. But I know a man who rights the wrongs. I've had many to walk away just like you even family but I continued to smile in the midst of it all. Thanks for your realness but that's what we need enough off the sugarcoating goes on. We need real people to show that we as believers in Christ do have moments of weakness. For in our weakness He id's made strong. Thanks again long time friend for your transparency. Bless you